Firstly, Polonius was right, to thine own self be true. The
sooner you learn this the better for your happiness and those around you that
love you. Do not live a life that is not in accordance with the truth that
resides in your heart. You will never succeed at what you are not, but you will
excel at who you really are. The people that love you will, usually have been
waiting for you to free yourself of the pretence anyway.
Secondly, let go of the shit and let it hit the fan. The
catastrophe will happen but then everyone can bath afterwards. If you don’t, there
will always be this perpetual stink that everyone must live with. Really I mean
it. If you don’t let it go people will gladly let you hold theirs too. Don’t do
it. All grown-ups know where the loo is and you are not it. Just drop it, like
it’s… lol!
Thirdly, get a good friend. Get a friend who believes in you
more than you believe in yourself if you can. One who will be strong for you
when you are weak. My mom was that friend. When she died Rhianna was making the
world sing “Shine bright like a diamond”. For months this is the only line in a
song that managed to penetrate to the soft core of my soul which I had managed
to wrap up in in sheets and sheets and sheets of impenetrable iron velvet. She,
my Mom, had always been that voice in my life which told me to shine. Her voice
was the voice whose words I believed more than I believed in my own ability to
shine. I would shine simply because she had no doubt that I would. The second line in the song ‘’you’re beautiful
like diamonds in the sky…”was my mental dedication to her. It was based on
memories of Pumba and Timon lying down looking at the stars in the sky, saying
the great kings of the past are up there looking down upon us. Mom died of
course but her belief in me and her words to me such as “You are made of
sterner stuff” cannot be wiped out by anything. I was blessed to have had a
good friend in her. Not all of us have our parents as friends. Find a good
friend whose words can cut through the haze and lift you up.
Fourthly, dare to love fully and entirely, dare to do it
over and over again. It is not foolish if you keep on getting better at it. The
people you love may leave and some will die. Do not waste time on silly
grudges. Use the time you are blessed with to show the people you love how much
you love them.
Fifth, know this, when the ones you love leave or die, you
will feel grief. It is a little 5 letter word, this thing called grief, it will
wind you and leave you lying there thinking you cannot take another breath,
thinking you don’t even want to take another breath because what is the point?
Mmmmmh at this point I hope you have done number 3 and gotten yourself a good
friend. If you don’t have a good friend, find a stranger. You need a human being.
God is useful for a lot of things but here you will feel like even He has let
you down. Maybe the human being will be inspired by God, that’s great too. Just
remember there are certain things common to all humanity great love and great
sorrow is universal. It is important for someone, a human being, to know you
are hurting. Don’t try and pull a lone soldier. Part of the lesson is to ask
for help, part of the lesson is how to be weak, part of the reward is to know
that you are not alone.
Sixth, there is no time for people who abuse you, do not
appreciate you and do not add value to your life. You just don’t have the time
in this life time for that. There are people who stick around you so that you
can entertain them with your challenges and make them feel better about their
miserable lives. Get brave and cut them off quickly. Make space for relationships
that are real. Until you clear out these space holders you will not enjoy quality
fulfilling relationships. The first quality relationship you should have is
with yourself. Create space to get to know you outside the hustle and bustle of
senseless conversations about nothing beneficial.
Seventh, things happen in life that are beyond your control.
There will be times when you think it cannot get any worse than what it is at
any given point. I can confirm that it can. I read this somewhere and it became
true in my own life. I can also confirm that the amount of strength that
resides in you can handle it. Do not give up. Sit down and cry as much as you
need. Lie down on the dry earth or the mud and become one with it. At your
lowest point allow yourself to sink deep down into the depths that is where the
demons you must slay reside. Be brave and go there. These experiences cannot be
healed by patch work you have to descend into the abyss and come out a
victorious. You will likely be nicely alone when this happens or you will be
with people but feel alone. When you are down there in the deep bowels of the
earth, the earth being the only thing you find to cradle you in that moment, ask
for help. Say out loud, Help me. Your help will come. Believe me it will. And
it will come from where you least expect it. You will amaze yourself as you raise
your bowed head and stare at the beast in the face, it will lower its eyes defeated
by your relentless will and you will turn around and walk away stronger than
you were. But you need to face it.
Eighth, exercise, just exercise. After the first few tries
it starts to feel nice. You start to reap the benefits. It is important for our
health now that our natural youthful super-powers are dwindling.
Nine, put some thought into what you eat. Do the research.
Ten, enjoy this very moment.
Eleven become conscious of your impact on the environment.
Make changes to your life style to have a more positive impact.
Twelve, raise your voice against what is unjust. Don’t be a
bystander. We are bringing up children in this place. They may not be your own
but they are vulnerable.
Thirteen, don’t put it off until tomorrow.
Simple enough. The happy things don’t need explaining.
And there it is. I turned x amount of years and this is the
little wisdom I wanted to share. I know it is a little bit dark but that’s
where I have been lately, these are the dark places where I grew to be strong and that’s what I’ve
I have learned.
